Yucky Mama Moments

There are moments that I have as a mama that I find really yucky. It’s not about my children, they’re just being normal babies, but it’s my reaction to their normality.

This morning was one of those moments and I have found it really hard to move through it today. Mr. Playful and I have always struggled over mealtimes. I get very frustrated with what I perceive to be him not eating enough and he senses that frustration and reacts to it. Intellectually I know that when I react negatively to Mr. Playful, especially around food, I am not teaching him how to regulate his emotions and I am creating a difficulty around meals. In the moment, I find it hard to regulate myself. I’m trying to learn how to do this and I am capable of it but sometimes I don’t seem to be able to. Then I spend a lot of energy being angry and disappointed in myself about my reactions and it affects the rest of the day.

I know that there are lots of issues that contribute to my inability (at times) to self-regulate. It’s feeling guilty about something, wanting to change an aspect of my life, anger at my husband, sadness for others, thinking ahead, not having enough time to myself…..the list is endless. I’m not great at living in the moment.

Hence why I have started this blog, to be accountable to myself by articulating how I’m feeling and hopefully, I will gain the skills to self-regulate more effectively.